NY→OH→FL→CA→MD

I just moved to my fifth state. That seems crazy to some people, but it doesn’t really to me. I like transitioning to new states and getting to explore. I’d rather move to a whole new state than to move to a new home in a city I already live in any day. Or maybe I’m still twitching from when we moved to Sherman Oaks (Van Nuys) from a pretty cool part of L.A. Although, if you regularly find yourself in need of a bail bonds place, you’ll love Van Nuys… shit be popping.. like the Panda Express down the street.

But I digress.

I’m from Buffalo. I love Buffalo – the people, the food, the spring, the summer, the fall (am I missing something?) – however, I knew I wanted to experience living some place else. And that’s NO slight to those who stayed in their hometowns. I in no way think I’m better than you because I got the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live in Dayton, Ohio. I just remember wanting to leave Buffalo the second I graduated from college. I can’t really explain it, but it’s one of the best decisions I ever made because I wouldn’t be where I am today – oh, barf… did I just write that? So cheesy, gross and true.

In 2002, when I was 22, I moved to Dayton. I had my first ghetto apartment, a job on a syndicated morning show.. and ZERO friends. Aside from figuring out how to work a real job, my other mission became making friends.

Making new friends is just like dating outside of the awkward first sex. I’m happy to say I have friends in all the states I’ve lived in, so if you’re looking to make some new ones, here’s what I did:

1. Just like dating, you gotta put yourself out there. When I started in Dayton, I worked with a guy I thought seemed cool and he liked Incubus like I did (suck it, Michelle Snyder). So, I was able to get a couple tickets to a show and, even though I didn’t know him, I asked him to go and we did! It’s funny because just recently he told me that, for a second at that time, he considered whether we should be more than friends. We shouldn’t have, we didn’t and I’m proud to say we’re still really close today.. almost 16 years later. WAY longer than any dude I’ve ever dated.
2. Be open to people you think you wouldn’t click with. One of my closest friends in Dayton was a girl I’ll call V – just ’cause. V was someone I would have never seen myself being friends with. She was a rockabilly, badass, bi-sexual, pin-up type girl who made me look like I had just busted out of the nunnery. But we got along well. So well that I actually spent Christmas with her family one year that I couldn’t go home. I think her grandma felt bad that I didn’t have any presents to open, so she gave me 20 bucks. My own grandmother never gave me more than $5… if she won at Bingo.
3. Do activities you wouldn’t normally do… because you never know. When I moved to Tampa, FL and had no friends, I went speed dating. There, I said it. I didn’t connect with any guys, but I DID connect with two girls who were also there and equally as embarrassed to be speed dating. Almost 13 years later we’re still close friends. And when people ask us how we know one another, we act like we don’t speak English.
4. Get involved in groups. This could be a Facebook group or, if you’re a new mom, I would definitely suggest joining a mommy and me group. Now, you’re obviously not going to click with every person you meet, but even meshing with one person is way better than no friends at all. When I first moved to Maryland, I went to a kiddy event with a mom I had only “met” on Facebook. And like dating, the minute I met her in person, I was like nope. I think she felt the same. But I’ll take a bad mom date over a bad date date any day – no mascara, no heels, no pity sex. I’m just kidding, I don’t have pity sex anymore.

In all, making new friends is the worst at first. But that stranger in your office, or sitting next to you on a bad speed date, could end up becoming one of your closest friends for life.